Back to regularly scheduled programming.

Hey, y'all!

I thought a good "y'all" might be appropriate since I'm going to write about Epcot's American Adventure.

Now, I realize we're in America and all. I don't have anything against my country of origin. In fact, I'm quite patriotic under normal circumstances.

However, I don't really understand why, every time I go to Epcot, the American Adventure seems to be the most popular country with visitors. And I'm not just talking about obnoxious Brazilian tour groups wearing matching t-shirts and following bright orange flags. And I'm not talking about the people waiting in line to see Donny Osmond or whatever has-been they've booked that week at the amphitheatre on the water, also known as the American Garden Theater.

I mean regular people, Americans, from such exciting places as like, Arkansas and upstate New York, just wandering around and eating giant chicken legs in their own country's pavilion.

As far as food attractions, The American Adventure serves such delicacies as burgers and fries at the Liberty Inn restaurant (proud to say I've never eaten there), a couple of roadside stands that serve gigantic turkey legs roasted on a spit and funnel cakes, and a beer stand that only sells what? Sam Adams. The worst beer. Ever.

Okay fine. I've had worse. But it is not good.

So wait. What was the point of coming to Epcot in the first place? What was the point of wandering all the way across the park from Future World if you don't want some kind of cultural experience, fake as it may be?

Well, I guess you could make the claim that the parents all bring their kids there to learn about American history. They do have an actual animatronic show (call me crazy, but I always find those things a little bit creepy - except for the Carousel of Progress, because that's just awesome) featuring such American personalities as Ben Franklin and Mark Twain, narrating through the major periods of American history.

Can I make a confession? I've never seen it. I don't believe I've ever even been inside that large colonial-looking building, unless I was way too young to remember it. I can't tell you if it's good or bad.

But again with the redundancy. Doesn't it seem pretty close to the whole concept of the Hall of Presidents, in the Magic Kingdom?

In fact, the whole pavilion seems like a knockoff of the Liberty Square in the Magic Kingdom, but without the Haunted Mansion or the fun stocks to pose in.

Think about it. I think Liberty Square (Magic Kingdom) sells turkey legs. It has an animatronic show teaching children American history. All the restaurants in the area definitely serve burgers and fries. With the exception of the crappy beer, which they don't serve in the Magic Kingdom, it's just about the same thing. Only bigger. And with Donny Osmond.

Okay, sometimes they have better people there. One year they had the Beach Boys, I think. Only without some of the more famous members. And I think John Stamos was their drummer.

During the Food and Wine Festival - the most wonderful time of the year - they have a concert series called Eat to the Beat. Sometimes they've got somewhat good bands. At any rate, it's better than Canada's resident band, Unkiltered. Oh wait, I mean Off-Kilter.

Also during the food and wine fest, the American Adventure has this kind of free beer seminar hosted by Sam Adams, of course. The good thing is, you get free beer and - at least the year I participated - a free bottle opener. The bad thing is, you have to drink like 5 different kinds of Sam Adams and try to appreciate the differences. I don't know. They're all way way too hoppy for me. I prefer something like Harp or Grolsch.

During the Christmas season, when one can drink some Glow Wine from Germany to pass the time, they also have the Candlelight Processional, which is always led by some celebrity that reads the biblical story of Christmas to the audience, and then a choir sings. Sometimes they get some interesting celebrities, including (according to Wikipedia, and my memory) John Stamos, Marlee Matlin, Jim Caviziel (yes, Jesus himself read the Christmas story), and Neil! Patrick! Harris!

He was there last year like the week after I left after Thanksgiving. You see, in Disney, the holiday season generally starts mid-November and ends in mid-January. Of course.

I remember one summer way back when, they booked the whole Lord of the Dance thing for an entire summer. At least the shows have gotten better than that.

Special thanks to Wikipedia on this entry. Without it, I wouldn't have known what to write, except for the concerts and the beer and the turkey legs.

I also want to take this opportunity to give y'all a link to my mom's blog. She writes about the many mishaps of camping. It's an enjoyable read.

Also, I will be going to Florida at the end of the month, when I will make a point to visit Epcot for the first weekend of the Food and Wine Fest. I'll let you know how it goes.

And thankfully, now that the American Adventure is over with we can move on to better things, like...Japan!

But maybe the American Adventure has gotten to me after all. I feel like having some cheese grits for breakfast.

Y'all come back now, y'hear?